The Innergize Method™ 8-Part Series: Relations (Part 4)

The Innergize Method™ 8-Part Series: Relations (Part 4)

people-coffee-tea-meetingRelations have a direct connection to the growth of your business and the prosperity that flows into your life. And there’s no denying that as humans, we are inherently social beings. Without people and love around us, we perish. For most, the educational system did not prepare us for real life. Therefore the skills we learned, when it comes to building and maintaining solid relationships, were from observations made as children and our own life experiences.

The problem is that many times, we’ve learned the wrong things as kids. As for our personal experiences, they’re very fluid as they’ve been shaped by our belief system and DVE (see Part 1). They can’t always be trusted.

The Innergize Method™ seeks to practically and effectively expand your knowledge to help you transform your business and life. This is why it’s absolutely of critical importance to lift your DVE in this area, so all that energy feeds a positive feedback loop, that will attract to you more prosperity and a better quality of life.

The Most Important Relationships

I consider the most important relationship to be that of a spiritual nature. For me, it’s my relationship with God. But whether or not you believe in a higher power is not the topic of discussion. However, I can assure you to believe in a higher power, whether it’s God, the universe, or a higher-self is more empowering than to go at it alone. Therefore I encourage to explore that route.

With that being said, the next most important relationship that you want to cherish and develop is the one you have with yourself. Too many times I see people give themselves away to help or please others.

Here’s a rude awakening:

You will NEVER be able to please everybody. Plus ‘pleasing’  sometimes suggests doing something against our will or internal guidance just to please others. Although helping, pleasing and sacrificing for others might sound like this great noble and spiritual idea, it will completely drain your life-force, IF you don’t keep it in check and take care of yourself first – GUILT FREE.

Yes, sometimes we make sacrifices for our loved ones or for our businesses, ideas or something we are passionate about. But what I have found in most cases (at least relationship-wise), that these sacrifices come at improper timing, and/or for the wrong reasons, and/or too frequently, and/or based on fear and co-dependency, and/or for the wrong people.

Give too much of yourself without grounding and recharging and you’ll run into the ground, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Have you ever thought why during the safety induction on an airplane, they always tell you to put your OWN oxygen mask first before helping others, even kids?

Airplane Example

Oxygen is life for our body and you can VERY quickly become unconscious if your brain lacks oxygen. This is why they ask to put your mask first, because, if you don’t attend to your physical needs, you will quickly blackout. You won’t be able to help others. So if you’re a mother or father who thinks that by strapping that oxygen mask on your kid first will save them, it’s time to face reality.

First, it is possible that you could blackout before you could do that.

Second, it’s even more likely that you’ll black out by the time you put the mask on your kid and make sure it’s secure. In that case, it’s very unlikely that your kid is going to be able to strap the oxygen mask on your face, especially if you’re unconscious. You don’t want to be in that situation as the choice that you just made has literally increased the risk on your life tremendously. Your kid may end up without a parent if the plane lands safely. One reason for this would have been your decision to put the mask on them first.

In comparison, if you were to strap the mask on yourself first, then your brain and body have all the oxygen supply they need. You’re not going to blackout because of the lack of oxygen. Now you can help others because you’re in a ‘strong’ position. Your basic needs are taken care off. And even if your kid, or the people next to you have blacked out, it would only be temporary, as you’re gonna strap that mask on them as soon as you’re done, and oxygen will flow back into their body.

Any Good in Selfishness?

The same is true in life. If you don’t take care of your physical and emotional needs, so that you’re in a place where your DVE is uplifted, it’s highly unlikely that you can help people to the best of your ability. And if you keep sacrificing without balance and grounding, and for the wrong reasons, you’re going to crash.

You’ll end up consciously or unconsciously stressed out. This could (and generally does) lead to things like anxiety, depression, physical pain and tension, eating disorders, heart attacks, heart palpitations, etc.

Don’t underestimate internal tension, anger, and frustration. Stress kills. I had my battle with it.

So this idea that that selfishness is ‘bad’ is not necessarily true. Typically, the word is associated with greed, just caring about yourself, arrogance, or similar connotations. This, I’m against and is also disempowering for the individual. It sets your DVE in the opposite direction than we are seeking to have it go.

However, the other side of selfishness is necessary for us to be able to stand and have strong foundations as individuals. Only when we take excellent care of your bodies, minds, and beings, can we then give unconditionally to others and help them to our best ability. Lift yourself and lift others with you.

When I started writing this article, I was actually going to address interpersonal relations. Relationships between your partners, friends, family, acquaintances, customers, employees, and others. But as I started writing, I realized that the most fundamental relationship we can have (besides spiritual) is the one we have with ourselves, which is why I focused on it.

Nurture Your Relationship With Yourself

YouThere are many things you can do right now to start nurturing the relationship with yourself. This in-turn will start lifting your DVE, which will directly impact your life experiences, including your business. What I’m saying is when you improve the relationship with yourself, you’ll improve your business.

Here are some of the things you can start focusing on that can help you:

  • Keep your word;
  • Be honest;
  • Exercise;
  • Eat healthy;
  • Do the things that uplift you and bring you joy;
  • Learn when to say yes and when to say no;
  • Be grateful for your life and your body;
  • Tune into your physical and emotional needs;
  • Focus on non-attachment, peace in your life, and radiating love to others;
  • Have mercy on yourself and others;
  • Be kind; AND
  • Recognize that guilt is an illusion designed to trap and chain you.

I promise that if you start developing these character traits, you’ll be amazed how your life will start to change for the better. You might be even surprised by a business opportunity that you never thought was possible. Remember, like energy attracts like energy, as I discussed in other parts of The Innergize Method™.

This is only the beginning. Future articles will dive deeper into relationships with other people, including business relationships.

John Moussan
Business Trainer | Transformational Coach | Speaker

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